Monday, September 12, 2005

Business Terminology

"Pod jumping!"

"Nah."

"Aw...come on man..."

Steve picked at a piece of imaginary lint on his pant leg, "It'll never fly."

"What would you call moving from one pod to another then?" George snapped back.

Steve rolled his eyes and sighed, "You have to keep the language all official sounding."

George snorted.

"Like business relations...or lateral advancement...or employment facilitation expert. Pod jumping sounds too kiddie scifi."

"So...?"

Steve sat quietly considering the question a few moments before replying, "Business Moving."

"Business moving?"

"Yes. Definitely."

"Use it in a sentence."

Steve snapped his fingers, "Easy - I feel the urge to make a business movement."

"Alright," George smiled, "I can work with that."

"See," Steve beamed back, "you just have to have a corporate mindset."

"Ok. But this is AOL."

"So?"

"AOL is the king of the acronym."

Steve huffed, "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"So," George giggled, "business movement becomes BM."

"What?"

"Let's try it on for size shall we?" George rubbed his hands together, "I feel the urge to make a BM."

"Oh god." Steve's head dropped to the desk with a thump.

"Yeah. I think it'll catch on."

(This entry brought to you by JP's request. Translation: Don't blame me)

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Next week

Next week I take the stage for the first time with the improv troupe that I joined. ( http://www.unscrewedcomedy.com/ )
The moment came to volunteer to do the show and I hesitated. I had to ask myself why I'd put myself out there like that.
I do it because it scares the shit out of me.
And that makes me proud.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Ugg

There are gangland molls that require less upkeep than my husband.
Bastard.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Chief Justice Dead...

but so is Bob Denver.
Gilligan has left the island.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Yup

I'm a 35 year old woman in lime green low rise underwear.
...
Not sure what that means. But the panties look damn good.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Quitter

There are those who can quit smoking in one day. They then regale the rest of us with how easy it was. That they never suffer a single twitch. Their lives are so much better.
They can suck my freudian dick.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Ain't he cute

I had a kid. Doesn't that scare the shit out of anyone but me?