Sunday, May 07, 2006

She's bbaaaaccckkkk

And the Grand Canyon is grand. An epiphanous experience? No. But actually impressive nontheless. I was a bit surprised when I took that first gander and felt my eyes cross a bit. Well done mother nature. That's quite a figure you got there.
When I wasn't busy being surprised by the fact that the Grand Canyon actually is an impressive bit of real estate I was running escort for my mother-in-law. Not an unpleasant duty. She can't travel at anything greater than a super slow walk so it gave me plenty of time to wander gift shops, peer at the view, and overhear random snatches of conversation.
And so begins my rant...
More than a few times I would overhear someone saying some crap about the honesty of some native american that they met. How deep the experience was. Or in the case of an actual conversation held with an odd chick from Amsterdam, "I prefer to hang with native peoples. They're so deep."Ok. Look. I'm not about to diss native american cultures or the people who happen to be card carrying members. This rant is for those pinheads who are puttering around the planet trying so hard to be deep by hanging out with anyone who has been billed as wisdom laden gurus in touch with the endless mysteries of the universe. (Man, talk about pressure for poor Running Elk and his progeny!)

Let me make it simple for you and provide the Do-It-Yourself Guru guide:
1. Head down to your local grocery store and steal a cardboard box.
2. Name it Bob. Or Bob Bearfoot if you wanna make it seem 'deeper'.
3. Talk to it, and nothing but it, for at least 2 weeks.

You now have your own personal guru.
You were expecting a pulse?
Come on! It's the experience you desired!
You meet a battered soul who has experienced the difficulties of life. Though beaten by the rampant consumerism of a 'white man's world' he stands strong. Your questions are met with the stoney silence of ultimate wisdom.
And it didn't cost you a damn thing!
In the end I believe we often seek that which we do not have. Be it that shiney new speed boat, a stunning pair of 6 inch stilleto heels, or a personality.
If you feel that you need to seek out others for depth, honesty, or a connection with the planet. Stop. Look at yourself. Because just like Bob, any guru you stumble across will only give you what you walk in with.
Or maybe you should just invite someone different from you to lunch. You'd be surprised what you can learn about yourself by having a conversation with someones crazy old aunt over a tuna sandwich.
Did any of that make any sense?


At 1:18 PM, Anonymous porkchop said...

"Because just like Bob, any guru you stumble across will only give you what you walk in with." Look a moral and a good use of the Everyman Bob


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