Fun fact: Polar bears are left handed. 

Latest chat room creation. I couldn't fit all the suggestions on. Ya gets what ya gets. 

This about sums up my take on parenting: Don't allow the child to play with sharp pointy sticks. He might hurt himself. Instead, attach them to his person so that he becomes a threat to everyone in the immediate vicinity.

Combining her expert ninja skills and her love of Hershey Swoops, Tree deals a harsh blow to her nemesis, 'The Math Teacher'.
(Democratic creativity...for good or ill...has created the masterpiece you see before you.)

Hello Meli!!!

The monkeys made me do this.
Honest.
They were taunting me with their happy dances.
They were singing your name.
They made me do it.
They know where I live.

Dead tired

So I've been thinking.
When I die I want to be cremated.
If you're cremated you can't become a zombie.
They got lousy hours.
And really, who wants the guilt trip associated with noshing on loved ones?
I'm sure mine would need salt.

This is a tree. I don't care what your momma told you. This is a tree. 

Kevin sent me this. He just got off the phone with some girl he's sweet on. Said something along the lines of, "There's one born every minute." Hmmmm 

The latest chat poll creation

Meet Schmurglpoopsalagonglinwurgle.
A lifetime sufferer of Kivilaaskoitis.
He thinks all of you are smegs.
(Don't blame me. This is what a democratic creation process brings)

One of dad's old photos. Fell off the wall. 

Alright smart guy, explain this one.

I sneezed.
It sprayed my glasses.

Apparently I am a respiratory contortionist.

Mice have needs

This moment in time is for Erynn:

A McBeck!

Yup. Another less than satisfying moment provided to you by Jessica.

Inspiration is a fickle critter. Unlike cooties, it does not easily pass from hand to hand. Must remember this the next time I try to poll a chat room for blogging ideas.

The face lift has really paid off. 

First Day On the Blog

Not entirely sure how I ended up here, but here I am.

Yup.

So... I suppose I should do something? Perform for you perhaps?

A little poety? Nah. Starting off with a poem always feels so needy. Like I'm trying to prove to ya that I got brains or maybe even deep thoughts. The truth of the matter is that any schmuck can hack out a little poem. Hate reading other people's poems. Don't you?

A little short fiction? That may be a better route. I do have some out there and it's met with a really good response. Got a work in progress posted at a place called wraithbait.com. But once again, as a general rule I hate reading other people's stuff. If it's bad you mentally sort of smile and back slowly out of the room.

A description of myself? Well, um...I ain't especially ugly. I don't kick puppies often. Got a BFA at one point. Theatre. Silly me. Someone actually married me. And then the fool bred with me. Can you believe that? I certainly didn't. It's true though. I have the legal documentation to prove it.

But I can't imagine you particularly care about any of that either.

I should probably think about this.